rip yeatler.

[khil]

What’s yeatler

yeatler has always been an enigma. users would always have to beg or stalk me for personal information, so much so that every small detail about me ranging from age to nationality has been documented on Google drive by people i've never met.

tonight, you don't have to speculate a rumour surrouding my absence, because i'll be giving you one.

i've been gone from social media platforms for almost eight months. no ig posts, no nothing, most people probably assumed i was dead and i might aswell have been, because this entire year has been a months' long experience of mentally crippling trauma. i won't specify on my struggles too much as TC users aren't exactly known for their compassion.

although, i will say that adulthood for me has been rough from the very beginning, specifically due to my gender identity as a trans woman, as i come from an Arab-Muslim upbringing and a conservative family who have never supported my transition. therefore TC was such a big part of my life for so long, i utilized it as escapism and internalized the retarded amounts of attention i was receiving, as validation. regardless of the drama and having been "cancelled" multiple times, i somehow still had so many users anticipating my return to the site each time i left like a cult. i felt as though my presence was valued and appreciated, something i didn't experience often in real life at the time.

TC played quite a big unexpected role in the early stages of my transition and motivated me daily [even when the motivation was bullying lol]. after i left the site for the last time, not only did i experience a dopamine crash, my mental health and living environment increasingly got worse.



i'm not doing any better. i haven't been taking my HRT nor my anti-depressants for almost two months.


i will be seeing a psychologist soon enough, but typing this out lifted a weight off my shoulders because i literally don't talk to anyone.

 

[0X0XRhea]

I must say In reading this i have seen a new side to you. Before I had only ever had brief encounters with you (most memorable was you bullying me for my weight lol) and I must say you have matured a lot since then.

I am so deepy sorry for what you have had to endure. I truly do hope you get the help you need, I myself have struggled with a lot of challenges. I am currently on antidepressants and getting regular therapy and it is helping day by day. I pray you get through this and come out stronger. Remember depression is an illness, it does not define you my dms are always open if you ever feel the need to vent.

- Rhea

 

[khil]

I must say In reading this i have seen a new side to you. Before I had only ever had brief encounters with you (most memorable was you bullying me for my weight lol) and I must say you have matured a lot since then.

lmao i remember that and i'm glad my maturity is noticeable.

this means a lot Rhea and i hope and pray your mental health progresses as well x..

i'll update after i see a psychologist, inshaallah ameen.

 

[BREEE]

yeatler has always been an enigma. users would always have to beg or stalk me for personal information, so much so that every small detail about me ranging from age to nationality has been documented on Google drive by people i've never met.

tonight, you don't have to speculate a rumour surrouding my absence, because i'll be giving you one.

i've been gone from social media platforms for almost eight months. no ig posts, no nothing, most people probably assumed i was dead and i might aswell have been, because this entire year has been a months' long experience of mentally crippling trauma. i won't specify on my struggles too much as TC users aren't exactly known for their compassion.

although, i will say that adulthood for me has been rough from the very beginning, specifically due to my gender identity as a trans woman, as i come from an Arab-Muslim upbringing and a conservative family who have never supported my transition. therefore TC was such a big part of my life for so long, i utilized it as escapism and internalized the retarded amounts of attention i was receiving, as validation. regardless of the drama and having been "cancelled" multiple times, i somehow still had so many users anticipating my return to the site each time i left like a cult. i felt as though my presence was valued and appreciated, something i didn't experience often in real life at the time.

TC played quite a big unexpected role in the early stages of my transition and motivated me daily [even when the motivation was bullying lol]. after i left the site for the last time, not only did i experience a dopamine crash, my mental health and living environment increasingly got worse.

in January, i was forced to stop my Hormone Replacement Therapy for a couple of weeks due to the cancellation of USAID in my country [South Africa]. i've since found an alternative way of attaining them but my living situation & circumstances made me so suicidal that i didn't even bother taking them. simply allowed myself to fall deeper into my depression & dysphoria. this resulted in me doing herion for the first time, liking it a little too much and then overdosing. when i woke up from the blackout, i had zero sense of self. although i remember all there was to remember from before i overdosed, i still felt disassociated.

i'm not doing any better. i haven't been taking my HRT nor my anti-depressants for almost two months.

i feel like i died when i overdosed.
i feel like i woke up without myself but simply walked in her footsteps.

i will be seeing a psychologist soon enough, but typing this out lifted a weight off my shoulders because i literally don't talk to anyone.

I don’t care about all what you just said about the past. Because it built a strong foundation with a woman that can improve the world or her family lineage for generations. I’m glad you matured insanely. I never knew you, as I remember I don’t think we had any past encounters maybe we had if you was around of December of last year. But some people need to take notes from you because you never used an excuse to “adult up” you even found religion. Your story sucks tho true honesty nobody deserves to go through that but god was building a path for a strong women like you

 

[BREEE]

This is truly inspirational that I think lots of users on here or around the world should see.

 

[khil]

you even found religion.

i was born and raised Muslim but due to religious trauma & abuse and being told that i would have to comprise my transition in order to practice Islam, i slowly began losing faith. it's ironic, because the further away i am from my innate femininity, the further away i seem to be from Allah/God.

Islam is a peaceful religion yet some don't preach it that way.

 

[BREEE]

i was born and raised Muslim but due to religious trauma & abuse and being told that i would have to comprise my transition in order to practice Islam, i slowly began losing faith. it's ironic, because the further away i am from my innate femininity, the further away i seem to be from Allah/God.

Islam is a peaceful religion yet some don't preach it that way.

Well I’m not Muslim but you’re a well spoken.